Human beings have so many thoughts, daily. From overthinking to worries and fears, if you feel like you're alone in this...
I'm curious, do you believe all the thoughts in your head?
If you do, be careful, this can be a very slippery slope.
If you believe all the thoughts that pop into your mind, that means you're taking subconscious suggestions from your lizard brain as truths. I say suggestions because your lizard brain is simply scanning for potential threats of any kind to alert you to. It's providing potential threats as an alert, and basically saying, "hey! have you thought about this? Might be something to watch out for!"
We need our lizard brain, and it's a lovely part of our mind. But, sometimes it just gets a bit too eager with it's suggestions. It also doesn't necessarily understand the difference between physical and emotional pain, or running from a bear and having your feelings hurt.
So when lizard brain pops in with something like, "I talk too much and just annoyed those people," and you believe it, that can set off a dangerous chain of thought patterns. If you believe this thought, you're liable to start worrying about what it means for you. You might think, "oh no, they will never want to hang out with me again, I'll never make new friends, I'm so lonely and bored, this is a terrible life..." and you see how that might lead someone to overthinking or depression, for example.
The good thing about all of this, is that you DO have control over your mind and how you respond to lizard brain's suggestions! You do NOT have to believe all of these thoughts automatically.
THEY ARE NOT ALL TRUE.
So how do you work through this?
Well, awareness is the first step. If you've read up to this point, now you're aware. So you're already doing the work. GREAT JOB!
Next, I suggest thinking differently about ANY thought that pops in your head that is negative about you. Practice being aware of these in the MOMENT.
Try to think logically about them and consider the fact that they are not TRUTHS just because you think them.
Take the earlier example that you talk too much and annoyed the people.
Do you know that's true? Did someone say you annoyed them? Not likely.
On the off chance that someone did say you talked to much, it might hurt, but those aren't your people. You will find your people. Make space for that pain, but do not dwell on it and spiral out with fears and worries stemming from it. Acknowledge it and move on as best you can.
The thing about working through these thoughts, is that it is really hard to see through the fog alone.
I highly suggest working on some workbooks and getting coaching or therapy if you really struggle with this.
-B.Photo by Sarah Pflug from Burst